The 16th February 2017 was the day that devastated my life forever. At the age of 70 my dad felt he could not fight to stay in this world anymore and ended both his and his girlfriend's life. No one can ever prepare you for the traumatic, lonely and turbulent journey of losing a loved one to suicide. My world has been shattered and has left deep emotional and mental scars that I struggle with each day to come to terms with. One minute I feel such deep sadness for losing my dad, the next I am in total shock and disbelief that he could carry out such a violent act, the next minute I am struggling to just calm my own chaotic thoughts that are trying to make sense out if it all. I miss my dad, but am determined to not let his actions define me as a person. My aim is to support other survivors as it easy to soon become isolated in this kind of grief process.